"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
