Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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