I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
