I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
