If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
