Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
