i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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