The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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