Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just pee around me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
