There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
