look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
