i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
