when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
