did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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