Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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