so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
