When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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