oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
