Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
