dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Randomize
