butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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