Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
