just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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