i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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