you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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