wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
