I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
