Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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(540): View more from Virginia

I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...

(1-540): View more from Virginia

You at least unplugged it right?

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(315): View more from New York

The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months

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(304): View more from West Virginia

please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker

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(313): View more from Michigan

you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth

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(248): View more from Michigan

so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.

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(970): View more from Colorado

The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.

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