Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
