from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
