There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
