he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I see more hoeing in ur future
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