I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
