Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
