A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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