Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
