party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
