Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
