Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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