Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
