if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
