Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
