i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
