She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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