He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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