why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
