I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
