ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
