Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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