i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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