I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
