Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
