I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
